i`m too lazy to post. but ... anyways !

i stumbled upon this one girl`s blog and i read on her latest post how much she loves being with her cousins. to tell you honestly, that one whole post totally hit me :| i don`t know what`s got into me but i just got super sad in the end. i really envy those people who have a hella great relationship with their cousins, cause in my position, i was never close to any of mine, and i guess that`ll never happen. i love my family, but i just can`t stand being around them. i know it`s kinda odd to say but i love being with my friends than with my relatives, and i guess, that answers to the question why i don`t like going to any of my auntie or uncle`s parties :| sometimes, i wish i just had a different family, so that i could have different sets of cousins i could actually spend some quality time with. that`s exactly the same thing i feel towards my uncles and aunties. i don`t understand why they think this whole family thing is a competition. every single one of `em wants to always be better than every one else in the family, which i think is really stupid by the way. okayy, yes, i know this family is lucky, lucky because the majority of us have a good life, but i don`t see a good point of why you have to show off everything you have just for people to know.

yeah, i guess i just don`t really know what i`m saying, but, is it bad to wish that you want to be with your cousins someday ? is it bad to wish that you actually want to feel the feeling of being loved by them ? is it bad to wish that one day, they will all realize that life is not a competition like what they think it is ? i just wanna have fun. isn`t it true that family always comes first ? i do love my family, but their pride has just completely brain washed them. you see ? my relatives are totally screwed up !

oh well. continuing this post will not even change a thing, so i guess i`ll just keep the rest to myself and just... continue envying other people nevermind.