I MISS YOU SO MUCH ='(

"I know you`re watching down on me from heaven... but i still wish you could be watching over me down here"

i miss you, bestfriend ='( why did you leave me ? us ? why ? up until now, i still can`t believe that you`re really GONE. i don`t even wanna believe it, but what can i do about it ? it`s the truth, and i can`t just change that anymore. i miss you soo much bestfriend ='( it was my mom who told me about this awful news yesterday. i was happily chatting with some of my friends when suddenly, my mom came out of the room, holding the phone and told me that she just finished talking to my cousins back in the Philippines and apparently, one of my cousins told her that you are GONE! i was shocked when i heard it, but ofcourse i didn`t believe it at first, so i went to google and typed up your whole name. there, everybody was all talking about you, and how you died. after that, i was numb. i didn`t know what to feel. then minutes later, i started crying because i realized that i just lost a bestfriend of mine for 11 years. why you ? i keep asking myself that question. it`s really hard to believe. the last time i saw you was when i went back there in April of this year, and i didn`t even know that that was actually the last time i`ll see you alive. gahd, this is soo unbelievable. i remember when we were just little, i used to go to your house like every single day because your mom makes the best merienda ever. i remember when we joined this dance competetion and we won 3rd place. i remember every Sunday, we used to go to church together because we were members of the 4PM mass. i remember every Saturday, instead of going to choir practice, we would always sneak out and go to the store close to the church and just eat in there. i remember when we had this singing competetion at church and we literally had the same style of hair and makeup because only one gay person did our hair and makeup. i remember every time we would join something, either dance or singing competetion, we would always have the same hairstyle and makeup. i remember during 5th grade, you lent me money because my wallet got stolen that day. i remember when we went swimming one time, we didn`t allow people to use the videoke because we just kept on using it. oh my god, we basically have a lot of memories together and i will never ever forget any of those. i miss you soo much bestfriend ='( you`re such a beautiful person inside and out. i`ve seen you grown into a beautiful young lady because we almost grew up together. 11 years of friendship is a treasure, i tell you. i may not be able to see anymore but i will never ever forget you. i miss you soo much bestfriend. i wish i was there until your last day. i wish could`ve went to all of your wakes and funeral. i wish i could`ve said goodbye to you personally. i miss you soo much bestfriend. it`s really hard for me now to move on after what happened to you. why you ? you`re too young to die. you`re only 15 and you have a lot of dreams in life. i was soo proud of you when i went back there because your name was everywhere in our place. you being the Lakambini of Orion 2004. oh my god, now it`s all gone. i will definetly miss you soo much, bestfriend. you`re such a big loss to everybody! i wanna see you bestfriend. i wanna see you ='( i know you`re happy with God now. all i`m asking is for you to guide us everywhere we go and make us strong. i hope that someday, we will meet again ='( i love you soo much Maria Fe Amaca. you are such a great person, classmate, girlfried, daughter and best friend to all of us. i love you soo much, and i always will ='( UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!

GOODBYE BESTFRIEND ='( I AM GOING TO MISS YOU SOO MUCH ='(